Not all, but some modern men still struggle in the world of romance- so Inga Verbeeck tells us where they are going wrong.

Ivy International is an international matchmaking agency that is headed by relationship expert Inga Verbeeck, who has some pretty strong opinions about dating modern men. She shares with us just a few reasons why modern men suck.

Inga Verbeeck

By Inga Verbeeck

Dating in the modern age leaves much to be desired. As humanity and society have evolved, so have the ways we interact, engage, and love. Over many years of maturation, our development as a society has lead us to believe certain expectations of men and women in all aspects of life. While many of these cultural transformations have brought us progress, our new expectations of the opposite sex are not all for the better. While there is plenty of room for improvement, here are 5 common mistakes modern men make in romance:

They lack balls.

Men today are not as bold as they used to be. Be honest; the last man you thought was too bold was probably just creepy. As a whole, humans all struggle with insecurities. Not wanting to ruin their chances, say the wrong thing, or fail to impress, men sometimes stick to the “can’t fail if you don’t try” mentality. There is no longer any urgency to be bold, no reason to risk rejection to get women’s attention when there are other, “safer” ways to meet people. To break out of this mindset and have better luck with love, men should be bold, assertive, but most importantly, respectful. Take a chance when someone catches your interest!

They have the wrong idea about gender roles.

Completely rejecting gender roles is a common first step towards failure. Love is about finding the right balance, and one should not solely rely on our current society’s idea of what that should be. While some men don’t embrace their masculinity or gender roles at all, there are also some men who are too alpha, and don’t understand how overbearing their actions can be. Fighting for power over trivial things or trying to control an inamorata is foolish and futile; men should focus instead on their lover’s desires, expectations, and opinions, rather than society’s. Modern men get what modern women want wrong. Women are still looking to be women in relationships, but they don’t want to be dominated. They want an equal say and a man who knows how and when to take charge of a situation. What women want is to be pursued and wooed; it’s time for men to go back to basics, and focus on the art of courting.

They are intimidated by successful women.

While it can be hard to determine the right power dynamic in a relationship, many men find this even more challenging when doing so with a successful woman. Men and women are more self-sufficient and independent than they have been in past periods. There is no reason to fear successful women. Self-reliance is a skill that should be seen as impressive, not intimidating. And just like with men, the way women behave in their professional and personal lives can be worlds apart. All humans need support. Women in particular want strong, dependable men who they can look up to and rely on for support in all kinds of ways.

They focus on sex instead of romance.

Failing to prioritize romance is another big mistake modern men make. Women want gentlemen who understand the importance of romance. Modern men have lost their way, and many desperately need to brush up on the basics of courting women for romance, rather than other reasons. While sex is an extremely important aspect of love, for the vast majority of women, it is essential that passion takes precedence.

They let their egos get in the way.

It is easy for love to confuse us, as love can complicate things that we once thought were certain. Love makes us vulnerable, and for some, this leads to anxiety and fear. It is how we act when faced with these feelings that will determine the success of the relationship and our happiness. In moments like these, some men worry about ego, and overcompensate for their unwanted feelings of vulnerability by trying to take control, or by withdrawing completely. Many men are afraid of commitment even when they meet someone great. Of course, some women react this way as well. In these moments of vulnerability, it is important to really weigh the value of what’s at stake. If you’re in love, don’t be afraid to be open about both the good and the bad. A good partner will support you and make you feel better.

As featured in: Female First UK

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